In the beginning of our relationship we weren't as close as I would have liked us to be, and I never understood why. Was there too much of an age difference? Did we not share any common interests? Was I not smart enough? Did I not live up to her expectations? I pondered over these questions constantly, but little did I know that these questions were completely irrelevant to the situation on hand. I was about to step into a world that challenges whatever strength you have. Nevertheless, I was finally in my sister s' life the way I had always hoped I would be. Now reality kicked in, and I was seeing her world from the inside; the midnight tears of great distress that made me feel useless, the pleading for a world where her life was non-existent made my stomach turn. What words could I possibly say to bring her out of that state of mind? She was feeling helpless, and so was I. And so it began, whatever her mood, my mood would follow. I try to not "set off" any "alarm", I just hope that today is a happy day, and if it is not, then I wait, patiently, until the day where I can do something, anything to ease the pain, to make her smile more. Until then, I will feel the pain that she feels, the tears she cries, I will cry also, because no one, NOONE deserves to go through this alone. Especially not someone who gives so much of herself, despite the enraging battle she fights everyday within herself. She may not realize that she has given me so much more than I could even begin to give to her.
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