I guess I should start by introducing myself. I am Kelly's husband Bruce. I met Kelly after my 5th deployment which was to Afghanistan. I remember our first meeting, there was so much about her that intrigued me. To start, she offered to meet me at a local coffee house by way of foot. That was not a small feat in itself, being that it was about a 2 mile walk in a North Carolina winter night. So from that moment I knew that Kelly would be anything but the typical stuck up, self absorbed, simple minded types that I was accustomed to. Long story short, I found myself wanting to spend as much time possible with Kelly, and that was easy to accomplish due to the fact we lived a 3 minute drive apart.
Over the next few months I found myself spending more and more time with her until one morning at breakfast while enjoying my shrimp and grits and her with her chicken and waffles, we came to the realization that all of this sickness she was having was most likely due to morning sickness. She was right, that morning sickness was confirmed on mothers day to be our daughter Charlotte. I have to admit that I didn't handle the sudden news with the most ease. I freaked out. I didn't want to be a shitty father and I didn't know the first thing about parenting.
I allowed myself some time to freak out until I came to the realization that the woman I was having this child with was herself amazing, so that thought along with the fact that I knew I wouldn't be a deadbeat dad gave me some confidence. Over the next half of a year during our pregnancy I began to see signs about Kelly that at times were very frightening. She could have sudden outbursts, she could be over emotional, and at times act like a totally different person. Just pure anger. It wasn't until seeing those signs that she let me know about her Bipolar Disorder.
At first I was skeptical. Being a Marine, I saw first hand the very lose diagnosis of physc and physical problems. I ignored at the time her very clear plea's for help and comfort which only made things worse. It took years to realize that the section they have in Barnes and Noble's isn't made up. This disease is real and that my wife is very much affected by it I started to see the affects of it in her everyday. Her obsession with shopping. Not just normal shopping either, im talking about taking such a joy in it that she wouldn't care about the 9 rolls of new rapping paper we had at home. She would continue on to Target in order to buy clearance x-mas wrapping paper. Not all of these signs are so in your face. It feels like the person has the ability to conceal them. She would tell me they were on clearance so as not to upset me. Other signs besides over spending were a dramatic decrease in daily activity, some days I would come home and find she hadn't really done much of anything. This takes a lot to get used to, most would write this off as laziness, truly taking the time to understand the problem instead of working on a solution will actually fix it, not just put a temporary stop to it.
Kelly has the ability to also sleep longer than anyone I have ever encountered. And when she is finally awake, sometimes she doesn't migrate far from her spot of rest which is not always the bed. The couch is also a close friend of hers. There are a plethora of other signs that Kelly gives and your partner might give. The end result is that before flying off the handle, read into it and try to figure out what is going on. pursuing and pushing that person to talk when not ready as I have found is not the best idea! please for your own sake, when they say give them space. Give them space!!
My advice for all of those husbands out there that are reading this, think about why you married your wife and take the time to learn as much as you can even as much of a pain in the ass it might be. Trust me it will save you a lot of anguish and arguments and only strengthen the marriage with your life partner.
Over the next few months I found myself spending more and more time with her until one morning at breakfast while enjoying my shrimp and grits and her with her chicken and waffles, we came to the realization that all of this sickness she was having was most likely due to morning sickness. She was right, that morning sickness was confirmed on mothers day to be our daughter Charlotte. I have to admit that I didn't handle the sudden news with the most ease. I freaked out. I didn't want to be a shitty father and I didn't know the first thing about parenting.
I allowed myself some time to freak out until I came to the realization that the woman I was having this child with was herself amazing, so that thought along with the fact that I knew I wouldn't be a deadbeat dad gave me some confidence. Over the next half of a year during our pregnancy I began to see signs about Kelly that at times were very frightening. She could have sudden outbursts, she could be over emotional, and at times act like a totally different person. Just pure anger. It wasn't until seeing those signs that she let me know about her Bipolar Disorder.
At first I was skeptical. Being a Marine, I saw first hand the very lose diagnosis of physc and physical problems. I ignored at the time her very clear plea's for help and comfort which only made things worse. It took years to realize that the section they have in Barnes and Noble's isn't made up. This disease is real and that my wife is very much affected by it I started to see the affects of it in her everyday. Her obsession with shopping. Not just normal shopping either, im talking about taking such a joy in it that she wouldn't care about the 9 rolls of new rapping paper we had at home. She would continue on to Target in order to buy clearance x-mas wrapping paper. Not all of these signs are so in your face. It feels like the person has the ability to conceal them. She would tell me they were on clearance so as not to upset me. Other signs besides over spending were a dramatic decrease in daily activity, some days I would come home and find she hadn't really done much of anything. This takes a lot to get used to, most would write this off as laziness, truly taking the time to understand the problem instead of working on a solution will actually fix it, not just put a temporary stop to it.
Kelly has the ability to also sleep longer than anyone I have ever encountered. And when she is finally awake, sometimes she doesn't migrate far from her spot of rest which is not always the bed. The couch is also a close friend of hers. There are a plethora of other signs that Kelly gives and your partner might give. The end result is that before flying off the handle, read into it and try to figure out what is going on. pursuing and pushing that person to talk when not ready as I have found is not the best idea! please for your own sake, when they say give them space. Give them space!!
My advice for all of those husbands out there that are reading this, think about why you married your wife and take the time to learn as much as you can even as much of a pain in the ass it might be. Trust me it will save you a lot of anguish and arguments and only strengthen the marriage with your life partner.